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Dreams are glimpses of what can be
They appear, then dance away with glee.
So, sometimes we wonder if they just can’t be
But what would be if we didn’t dream?
©2003-2009 ~Araym
:iconaraym:

Author's Comments

Made this up a year ago. I wrote it down once, but lost it right away. I really liked it so here it is again. Hopefully, I won't lose it this time. :lmao:

Comments


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:iconsasanqua:
I like this. The only suggestion I could make, is that it could be a little longer. I know there is no rule when it comes to the length of poems (there are some great short poems out there), however I can feel you started something here, and I would have liked it if you explored your topic more. I like it how you invite the reader to contemplate dreams. I don't know if I've ever thought of them as you have described in your work, I've normally just taken them for granted. Nice work. :-) (If ever you write a longer or different version of this, let me know) :-)
:iconcanisdirus:
Yes, I agree. I enjoy the poem and think it has a really good feel to it, but the ending just didn't seem like an ending but rather like an invitation to further speculation. I'm not against short poems per se, I just think that this one in particular is crying out for a few more verses. Nevertheless, I like it, good job. :)
:iconaraym:
Thanks. I left it open so that people could take off on their own thoughts and feelings on the topic. You know, not be constrained by mine.
:iconaraym:
You are the second person to say something like that, I guess I will really have to look into that then. Thanks. I had not really every thought of expanding it. I guess I had thought that it was appropriate for my needs at the time. I'll see if I can improve it and if I can I will submit a newer version. See you then. ;-)
:iconcanisdirus:
All well and good then! :) If that was your intention in the first place then by all means leave it alone.
:iconmikit-yorinao:
I like dreams. Not just the poem . . . although I tend to have very weird dreams and I like weirdness while the dreams you've told me about we'll not go into on a world-wide-website. For some reason when I tried to submit a comment on the "deep wound" poem nothing showed up. My internet doesn't like this website and keeps trying to freeze, stupid computer.

ai,
~akitou
:iconaraym:
:giggle:

Thanks, but yeahhh. Sshhhhh.
:iconmikit-yorinao:
Ooopsy, sorry, shouldn't have meantioned them at all, huh?

ai,
~akitou
:iconcalligraphypoet:
I like the poem. It reall lets the reader interpret it, and is open to speculation. Short and sweet. In this case, you did a good job. The only thing I might say, is that you had a good rhyme going, and I think it would be great if you could carry it on through the last sentence. Remember, a poem is only as good as the person interpreting it. Some people like rhyme, some like length. So, don't worry too much about comments. Just keep practicing, 'cause you've got talent. 8-)

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December 20, 2003
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